9. The News with the Golden Letter
Welcome to the 9th of my allegedly quarterly newsletters, chronically late as usual. What can I say except… continuity?
Except you may have noticed this one has arrived in your inbox from a new and exciting email address. Unless it missed and landed in junk, in which case ‘hello from the probably now distant past, you spam folder archaeologist, you’. Or, if this is the first of my newsletters to grace your eyeballs, I recommend an expedition into the junklands, where you’re likely to discover the echoes of my deranged musings competing for unheard airspace with the propositions of snake oil salesfolk and middle-eastern royalty.
But back to the now and here… Yes, I have a new email address, created in tandem with my brand-new baby website, davidxbush.com birthed via a lengthy tryst with squarespace (no, I am not a podcast). At the moment there’s just a newsletter signup button (not much use to you now, but you CAN refer friends (or enemies!)) and an archive of the Oldsletters (now illogically Bonded together with themed titles). There will be bells and whistles and perhaps a washboard (hurray jazzfest) added on soon(ish) and no doubt you’ll hear all about it in future installments of this email.
Unless of course, you unsubscribe, which is now easier than ever! In the interests of not going to e-jail, I’ve added a handy clickable beneath the lengthy list below that will allow you to ghost me in technological style. Anonymously. Of course, if you’d rather do it the more hurtful way, just shoot me an email (to either address) and I’ll remove you manually from the list, while reliving all sorts of abandonment trauma.
One final note on this new newsletter era: I’ve fired the plagiarist who was penning each edition’s rehashed explanation of what to expect in the list contained therein. Moving forward, my attitude towards reader comprehension of the list of awesome stuff shall be IYKYK*.
So dive on in. The words are warm.
El Listo Numero Nueve (en Ingles)
1. …The Etymologicon – As a writer, pun junky and lover of language, I find the evolution of words inherently fascinating. In this book (as well as his Elements of Eloquence and Horologicon) Mark Forsyth provides an incredible amount of fascinating info in his hyper-witty but casual style. But fair warning: you’ll need to get over the incredible pretention of his sometimes-forced segues (who does that?) and the overall cyclical Ourobouros structure of the book which ends exactly where it begins. And speaking of things that go around and around and around.
2. Records – The vinyl ones. No, I am not (deliberately) just marking another box on the ‘Am I pretentios?’ checklist. I honestly don’t hear the difference in sound quality, and I’m not too much of a nut about tactile media (though my walls of movies and books may beg to differ). What I’ve recently come to love about records is the way the necessity of periodically flipping them forces a break in whatever activity you’re doing while listening, whether its writing or chatting or… well sometimes it’s just nice to take a quick break to catch your breath and assess where you’re at, before diving back in on the B-side. It’s like a sort of musical pomodoro technique. Now after I flip this Brahms, let’s discuss another kind of record…
3. Momento – I’ve been using this app to keep an extremely brief daily diary for more than 12 years. I love it because each day when I update it, I’m forced to reflect on the day prior, and because I can now scroll back and see what I was doing exactly 10 years ago today (I finished reading Cloud Atlas!). Because of this handy tool, I can also tell you (though I won’t) how embarrassingly long it had been since my last experience with…
4. Dentistry – In my teens, a horrible diet, bad hygiene and an incredibly painful bout of braces with a mediocre orthodontist left me with terrible dental issues. Despite having plenty of corrective work done, I was always deeply embarrassed about anyone seeing my teeth. ANYONE. Including dentists. This became a vicious cycle. But recently, I went and saw the spectacular Dr. Joseph Campo (recommended hilariously by everyone in my Horror Movie Club) and beheaded the evil Ourobouros of decay. For the first time in my adult life, my mouth is finally in healthy working order. So now I’m paying it forward (lord knows insurance isn’t) by nagging you. No matter how bad it feels, have someone see to your teeth, and body and everything! PSA complete. Onwards to another long overdue follow-up…
5. Spinal Tap 2 – If you’ve not seen the Rob Reiner comedy classic, This is Spinal Tap, go check it out immediately so you’ll understand that this boast goes to 11. I recently finished ‘script’ supervising Spinal Tap 2 (though I’m pushing for a more amped up title). It was an absolute blast watching the original team of geniuses (and a couple of Sirs) prove that 40-years-later, they’ve still got plenty of tricks up their pantlegs. I can’t wait to see the final film, which will be nearly as surprising to me as it is to everyone else. But if you’re more in the mood for a real documentary, I’ve got good un-fake news for you, because Reiner also recently made…
6. God & Country – It’s incredibly easy to find criticism of the current Republican Party. Often these critiques are overzealous, artificial and counter-productive. But even those that are fact-based, logical, morally grounded, and difficult to refute, still tend to fall on deaf ears (when not just preaching to the progressive choir) in no small part due to a firewall of animosity fueled by a tendency towards condescension. Reiner’s new doc beautifully avoids this trap by letting primarily Conservative Christians voice what they see as the perversion and weaponization of Christianity by the far right (and Donald Trump). It’s insightful and damning but also fair, kind and respectful. And speaking of Civil Discourse…
7. Film Folklore (a podcast (just like I am not)) – I was honored to get to chat set etiquette (setiquette?), script supervision, soccer and more with Jed and Justin on their spectacular podcast, available here or wherever you get your pods. And if this email has already exhausted your appetite for MY words, they’ve got a whole library of episodes with talented filmmakers representing a broad array of departments, skills and crafts. And speaking of diversified talents…
8. Jeff Pearson & Olivia Peck (credited alphabetically) – Yes, they’ve both been in movies that you’ve seen. But also, he’s written a crazily ambitious Clown Graphic Novel. With music! She’s started a book-selling pop-up and website which, just like Jeff Bezos, sells copies of the much lauded Fannie and the Firearms Factory. And she teaches singing! And he’s got video game stores and auto-shops. And she’s got a tiktok that apparently has prompted the government to say ‘No more!’ And he’s working on producing several upcoming projects including a butterfly horror film (co-written by yours truly). AND – and this bears repeating – AND they’re still together! Despite having co-starred in Todds! a quirky road trip comedy, which she wrote AND directed! AND they didn’t kill each other. Anyway… speaking of badass couples, zany movies and justifiable homicide…
9. Love Lies Bleeding – I went to New Orleans’ Broad Theater (also fantastic and zany) knowing nothing about the movie, and while so tired that I expected to take one of those no-pressure naps that I boasted about three (ok, five) months ago. Wrong! Because this movie is spectacular, gutsy (literally) and fresh. It felt like early Coen Brothers meets early Cronenberg meets early Wachowskis. And speaking of awesome people meeting…
10. Meeting People (or The Proliferation of Friends) – One of the benefits of film employment (and travel unemployment) is that I meet a ton of new people. And thanks to social media (begrudgingly) I can keep in touch without the old-fashioned hand cramp of writing florid letters (can you imagine how many stamps I’d have to lick to send out this thing in the old days (unless I had Stamps.com (I swear, I’m not a podcast!))). So these networks can now grow exponentially. Example: I went to Alicante, Spain on the recommendation of a friend, and while there I met a new friend, who has now visited New Orleans and met tons of new friends here. I have no doubt some of them will end up meeting new people through her. My point is, it’s easier than ever to diversify your friend group, and so beneficial. So, do it! Meet new people. Perhaps get to know them over a game of Slander (It’ll be ready soon!!!). Keep in touch. Introduce them to me. That said, not everything should proliferate. So…
11. Spaying and Neutering – To be clear, DO NOT spay and neuter your friends (though I wonder if The Etymologicon has anything to say about the word ‘proliferation’ containing the words ‘pro life’), not even the European ones! So what am I talking about? While I was in Spain, a friend overfed the (originally two or three) porch cats so when I got home I found a dozen felines lined up at a kibble buffet a la The Last Supper. Which it could have been except I’m a sucker and have kept feeding them ever since. But the last thing I wanted was a fruitful multiplication. Fortunately, the SPCA (and Trap Dat Cat) are amazing. If you’ve got neighborhood cats, these angels will swoop in, abduct the critters and return them a day later, fully vaccinated and with a snipped tip (of their ear, duh) to identify them as one of the de-parted. This might SEEM like a violation of the Prevent Cruelty part of the organization’s name, but believe me it’s very PC. My disciples are still happy and playful, just not in THAT way. And if feral cat communities get too large, felines quickly turn into…
12. Deadlines (sorry, had to) – The irony that a newsletter which focuses quite a bit on productivity chronically falls behind schedule is neither deliberate nor lost on me. People think that I’m productive – mostly because I’m a ‘quantity over quality’ sort of person (just ask the cats) – but they don’t realize that I wage a perpetual war against procrastination. I’m only finally getting around to this email because I recently signed a writing contract for another script (more info on this soon!) and so now this newsletter seems like a more attractive use of my afternoon. Or I could go work on those DVD shelves I’m building… No! Today is the last of the month. And henceforth these newsletters shall be delivered before the end of every third month. Starting now. I mean it. Or else shame me. Which you can do at both e-mail addresses! Speaking of which, I should check my inbox now. Then maybe take a nap and…
13. This Alarm Clock – I’ve always been awful at getting out of bed. Even my unconscious mind likes procrastinating. In my ongoing feud against the Newtonian physics of my mornings, I’ve employed an ever-evolving arsenal of waker-uppers including programmable coffee pots, a sonic bomb, and other even less humane tools. But I’m hoping that this alarm clock is the weapon to end the war. It truly is amazing. A wide range of volumes and display brightness. A not-so-annoying ring. Two alarms. Easy adjustment (none of that scrolling around the clock nonsense). USB ports. And a battery backup so Entergy can’t wreck your life. And while we’re talking helpful gadgets…
14. This Phone Case/Card Wallet – In an effort to return to the good old days where only one or two pockets were full of stuff, I purchased this case/wallet hybrid. Considering the price, I’m amazed how well it has held up for over a year now. It easily fits two cards (license and credit card for me) plus a folded-up dollar bill (or twenty or whatever) and it still doesn’t feel too bulky in your hand or pocket. If only there were some sort of clever portmanteau name for it, it would be perfect. If you know me, you know that I spent WAY too long trying all sorts of possibilities before giving up and just jumping to this word mashup segue instead…
15. Th’all – What’s ‘th’all’, you ask? Why, that’s just me fixing the English language. No big deal. See, I really do empathize with all the Pronoun Change Deniers who insist that it’s necessary to imply information about everyone’s genitals (he or she) all the time because the only alternative (they) lacks numerical specificity. I politely point out that the second person ‘you’ is also ambiguous. Funny enough, just like ‘they’, ‘you’ used to be strictly plural. ‘Thou’ was(t) singular. And everything was awesome. Until some grammatical Eve plucked the apple and ‘thou’ and ruined second person specificity forever. Except that the Southern states (always the most progressive) fixed this mess with the convenient contraction ‘y’all’. I’m sure y’all see where I’m going with this. I want you to pick ONE of your most articulate friends and explain to them (see how their genitals (and/or gender identity) don’t matter at all in this context?) that from now on ‘they’ is primarily singular (just like you is). And as for the plural? And the rest of your friends? Well if this verbal virus is as catchy as I’d like it to bo, th’all should be contracting it in no time. And if you liked that circular little grammar-go-round, I’d also recommend you check out…
16. The Etymologicon …
Boom!
I’ll admit that the degree of pride I feel in what I just did there is embarrassingly high. But I assure you, not all of my writing is this self-aware and self-congratulatory.
For example, I have now officiated TWO weddings and the speeches I wrote for those occasions, though still packed with puns, were focused squarely on the clearly insane people (my friends Steve & Trish, then a few years later, my brother Jason and his wife, Danielle) who had entrusted me with their special days. Yup, it was all about them.
And how did they thank me?
They waited a few years and then, within DAYS of each other, they one-upped the impending birth of my website by producing actual living human creatures!
In fairness to me, davidxbush.com does have more words than these two gremlins (for now). Plus, it only took me half as long to create!
But seriously, I’m thrilled to wish a huge, proud congratulations to all four parents, and to Francesca Vicari and Jace Ray Bush, both for finagling their way into existence and for making me feel even older. But optimistic. I look forward to the day, some twenty years from now, when I can begin manipulating a merger between these two great houses.
But enough about them. And me.
I want to hear what you’re up to, even if- No, ESPECIALLY - if it’s nothing as mature or adult as making humans. Hit me up and fill me in on the the art or hobbies or experiences that you’ve been proliferating!
And if we don’t chat before then, look out for another email from me in EXACTLY one trimester!
Cheers!
David X** Bush
*And IYDKFU
** It’s variable.