11. Newsraker (or Moonletter)
Hello and welcome to my 11th quarterly Newsletter! Fair warning, this one’s gonna kick off with a few bleak paragraphs but then it picks up, I swear! And by the end it’s positively uplifting. I (campaign) promise!
These emails typically feature a brief autobiographical update followed by a contrived semi-logical framing device for a recommendation List comprised of things that I think are amazing (gadgets, movies, health stuff, and mind-hacks, and a bit of semi-shameless self-promotion (always towards the end)) linked together by a stream of painstakingly crafted segues calibrated for just the right amount of cringe, before I wrap it all up with a twisty callback. But this 11-item-long, 11th newsletter will be a bit different, and not just because the usual ‘let me know what you’ve been up to lately’ conclusion will be replaced by an equally sincere and emphatic but very different request.
Why the change? Well, aside from my cousin’s lovely Coole-Story wedding (actual last names!) and a wonderful Cat-themed Halloween Party, my last few months have consisted almost entirely of doing contracted writing (yay!) and obsessively observing our current political clusterfarce (substantially less yay).
I’ve been horrified by the hostility, intolerance, and freakish insistence on blind allegiance (loyalty is great, but dear lord, do it with eyes open) that has clouded our country, including many of my closest friends and family and people on both sides of the dogmatically binary aisle.
Watching people I have long respected for their intellectual rigor and moral integrity tolerate or even defend overt bigotry (rather than accept an obstacle to their ingrained ideological goals or the perceived embarrassment of admitting a former error) has been frustrating and exhausting, but I’ve endured it by rationalizing that my struggle to remain open-minded and respectfully engaged in the face of abhorrent rhetoric is like putting in reps on the Patience Machine at a Tolerance Gym.
And there have been some silver linings, though not quite enough to smelt it into a suit of armor. Not only has my refusal to ignore or dismiss what I find illogical, offensive or problematic led to me feeling empathetically stronger AND more conscious of the logical foundations of my own beliefs, I’ve also managed to pick up a few new communication strategies that are apparently (appallingly) effective with a broad swath of people, and since word-spewing is my bread and butter, I’d be a fool not to give these new tools a try.
So, with that in mind, no more mopey, demoralizing, political ado. It’s time for my expertly-segued list of…
11 Amazing Things Guaranteed to Make Your Life Great (again?)
1. Me – After humility, my greatest attribute is a propensity for making stuff. Most of my creations stay safely guarded in my office vault but occasionally a few sneak out, as recently happened with the me-written, me-directed movies, They Whisper and Half Lives, which had a surprise premiere at Screamfest NOLA a few weeks ago. Of course, I’m intensely proud of having made these films all by myself (with a tiny bit of support from the amazing cast and crew) so when they become wide-worldly available, I’ll let you know loudly but humbly. But if you can’t wait for more me, go read Fannie and the Firearms Factory (yes, I wrote this novel (yes, really (yes, Reald Deahl is a pseudonym (cuz yes, humble)))). And if you’re wondering what I’m going to do next, the answer is…
2. The Art of Diane Hanson – I unsubscribe from most superstitious beliefs, but when I saw a painting (at BR Gallery’s monthly First Wednesday opening) that had artistic similarities to two of my favorite artists (Escher (duh) and Mike Wilks (check out his Ultimate Alphabet) AND a freakish number of connections to the screenplay I had been hired to write only hours before, I accepted serendipity’s call, decimated my zero-dollar budget (the Gallery’s wine is free!) and adopted Diane Hanson’s ‘Malleable Memories’ into my home. And I’m thrilled I did. Go check out her other spectacular work! And if you’re capable of re-considering your views in response to extraordinary circumstances …
3. Hydrojug – I’ve got a shelf full of bottles and tumblers optimistically Amazoned and then swiftly banished to the cabinet of shame after failing to measure up to my high demands (keep my water cold and in). But not only does this one live up to its campaign promises, it also fits in a cup holder! And speaking of accountability… I’d be remiss (and in trouble) if I didn’t credit the spectacular Syd Jones with introducing me to both this supercup AND the aforementioned BR Gallery. She’s awesome. And if you also value consistency and reliability…
4. Yuval Noah Harrari – Harrari is best known for his sprawling human history book, Sapiens which is impressively accessible while being unapologetically analytical and grounded, and right now I’m in the midst of his Homo Deus, which extrapolates where humanity is headed in a way that is simultaneously terrifying and optimistic. Without being preachy, his work promotes a tempered mix of practicality and compassion, highlighting the importance of the coexistence of humanity and science. And if those things matter to you…
5. Your Perfect Day – I know, I’ve shouted out the Huberman Lab podcast nearly as often as he plugs AG1, but both are worth it, as is the Perfect Day mental exercise explained by Martha Beck in a recent episode. Basically, just visualize and write down what your ideal day would look like. What do you eat for breakfast? Who do you talk to? What do you do for work (if anything)? I didn’t go into quite as much depth as she recommends, instead making more of a schedule in list form (shocker) but even that was tremendously valuable. I feel privileged and validated by how many of my desires are already a reality, and inspired by how many – now that I’ve identified them – can be enacted with only minor directed effort. Try it. And then, even if reading lengthy newsletters isn’t a part of it, let me know what your perfect day looks, so that I can steal the best bits. And if you’re willing to exert a tiny bit of effort in the interests of creating a positive, sustainable world…
6. To Do List Bingo? – I struggle to juggle massive creative tasks (Flow) with the never-ending avalanche of necessary life stuff (Getting Things Done), and I’m always excited when some mind-hacked productivity strategy seems to work. But my ADHD brain is allergic to consistency, so nothing that works well ever works for long. It’s so tempting to just abandon my career goals and instead be a… I don’t know… I hear being a Fry Cook is both fun and easy. But this would be a catastrophic mistake. Fortunately, my persistence in the pursuit of progress recently received a breath of fresh air in the form of… a Bingo Cage? I don’t remember why I bought it (probably for some sort of ill-advised drinking game) but lately in harmony with a 75-item numbered list of to-dos including chores, Pomodoro writing blocks and Tabata Set workouts, I’ve been using it to randomize my at-home work schedule. It’s not perfect (prioritization be damned) but it keeps me engaged and prevents me from back-sliding into a defeatist malaise. If 75 bingo balls feels like a bit much, try a deck of 52 cards, a 6-sided die (oh, and check out but DO NOT emulate, the amazing novel, The Dice Man) or even a coin. Of course, if you want to avoid an embarrassing counterproductive regression, not everything should be left up to chance, so…
7. Assholes, Bigots & Lunatics – Why are these jerks included on my awesome things list? Is it because they are still people, and despite their major shortcomings must have SOME great qualities which should not be discounted? Well... That IS true, but I’ve already rambled many times before about how reductive absolutist labels are. No, this time I commend these ‘fine people’ because when they’re at their worst, they still provide a valuable service. By association they make it easier to identify other people whose toxic attributes are more subtle or disguised, functioning as coal mine canaries for identifying noxious flocks (did I just flip the bird metaphor?). It’s over-common to hyperbolically compare political opponents to Hitler, but for a more objective litmus test, look at who the self-described neo-nazis and white supremacists are openly backing. No need to trust a third person pundit. You can just google it and go to these people’s actual webpages (ideally not on your work computer). And if an idea or person YOU support is also praised by diverse and contradictory conspiracies, maybe you should fault-check your own foundations. To be clear, racists and sexists and fascists are people too and they are absolutely free to believe (and frustratingly, to say) what they like, but personally, unless irrefutable logic renders it impossible, I’d rather be as dissimilar from these flockers as possible. And if you do too, then for flock’s sake, do a bit of research and…
8. Escape Room Games – Forget ‘Lock her (or him) up!’ If the negativity vortex of social media feels inescapable, I recommend paying a stranger to lock YOU up (ideally with some good friends (but OK, enemies might be fascinating too!)) in a clue-filled room for an hour. Or for a more accessible narrative-based, collaborative puzzle-solving challenge, check out these at-home, tabletop games by EXIT: The Game. I’ve done perhaps a dozen and they’re impressively well-crafted across a variety of skill levels and themes. If you support rational collaboration and communication as an approach to solving complex problems, then…
9. Wordcounter App – One of the most demoralizing aspects of writing is the feeling that you’re paddling a rowboat in the ocean with no landmarks (watermarks? Nah) by which to assess progress. This app operates in the background and tracks your daily wordcount (on any programs you choose to include) giving a tangible sense of work accomplished and making it easy to set and track goals. Of course it only assesses quantity, not quality, which (unlike in rally speeches) is arguably more important. To that end, let’s metaphorically abandon the ocean and revisit the gym where your rowing reps move you not towards some island that was probably underwhelming anyway, but rather towards self-betterment. And if you realize the importance of perseverance despite the often frustratingly slow sense of progress in the logical, deliberate pursuit of success…
10. Lists – Obviously. But beyond mere To Do Lists, the aforementioned ‘Perfect Day’ list, and this life-altering 11-item Rec Collection, there are many other handy species of list. Not to get too meta with a list-o-lists, but there are self-awareness lists like reflective confessions, daily diaries or gratitude practices, Ray Bradbury touts the value of creative brainstorming lists in his excellent Zen in the Art of Writing, and Pros & Cons lists are still one of the best methods to rationally weigh your options for any major decisions you might face, (perhaps in the very very near future). We live in an absurdly chaotic world where one loud voice can easily drown out a chorus of rational ones and one sticky point can distract from dozens of salient ones. It can be overwhelming and immobilizing but there’s no need to be listless. Reducing the messy cloud of rhetoric to a series of bullet points can be extremely useful. So, if you prefer order to chaos…
You’re welcome! Because THAT was the perfect list. Just like I said it would be.
What’s that? You thought I promised 11 items? That was 11.
It wasn’t? Well, I only promised 10. Trust me. No need to scroll up and check. But if I did, that was just words, and I wouldn’t worry about the words, just the message. That’s what matters. The message and how I’m the best at crafting that message with all those awesome segues. Everyone knows that.
What? The segues didn’t make sense? It all felt like more like a ramble? Well, that’s why we need to stop bad segues from stealing our transitions! We need to make wordplay great again. Which only I can do. Like I already did. Again. Trust me. Not the experts. Not those so-called linguists with their alleged grammar. Me, I’m the only one. Which should be obvious since they put myself (I mean, Me) first on the list of awesome things!
Anyway, that’s it, the next step in my continuing rise as a high IQ wordsmithing supergenius. And again, you’re welcome.
But if it didn’t quite do it for you, don’t be embarrassed. It’s not your fault that you were born with inferior god-giving brain-stuff, and trust me, even though everyone agrees that this newsletter was the best yet and a specimen of communicative perfection, I’m confident that I can trump it next time by jettisoning all that obsolete practical stuff and replacing it with an arbitrary enemy (look out, unsubscribers!) so that instead of wasting brainpower trying to fix our problems, we can just blame someone else. Oh, and speaking of that someone else…
I write for EVERYONE, even losers, so to any of my readers who have failed to dumb down with the times, OK, I’ll pander… In case you’re the kind of person who listens to your conscience, experience, memory, and analytical skills (collectively known as ‘The Enemy Within’) and you find what I just did deeply annoying, then here, let me satisfy all those dangling segues with a pandering final 11th recommendation.
11. …GO VOTE!*
With sincere unironic love for you all, no matter how this thing goes,
David X (like you mark on a ballot) Bush
*in all caps, cuz I guess that’s effective too now?